I WILL STOP GIVING IN.
I WILL NOT SWALLOW DOWN EVERYTHING ANYMORE.
AND I WILL STOP YOU FROM HUMILIATING ME.
It's about time i did something about this situation.
Cause everyone has been too accomodating to you.
And its not only me who claims that statement okay.
Maybe its because i've been depressed recently.
Thats why i am abit more sensitive.
But really, you crossed that line.
And i am not gonna tolerate with this anymore.
Maybe i'm just too soft hearted in the past.
Always the one who apologises though not in the wrong in the first place.
Thats why you've learnt to take advantage.
Or maybe this is just you.
Well if you want a friend that you can make fun of,
Then i'm sorry to say that i am not one of them.
I'm not an entertainment outlet.
And honestly, i don't find myself very amusing either.
I guess that after you find out that i'm talking about you,
You'd try to fight back for yourself.
You? Apologetic? HA!
Cause to you, i am always wrong.
All the fault lies with me.
Tell me, when was the last time you said sorry first during each of our squabbles?
And when it comes to the time when you say "I'm sorry too.",
Do you even mean it?
Do you even realise that you that you have at least abit of fault?
Or do you say it just for the sake of saying?
I don't care what the outcome will be.
I don't care if i have to go to school or come home from now on all by myself.
If you're gonna stay this way, there's nothing more i can do about it.
I'm not gonna be last time.
Just be like, "Oh speak to Keith or Charmaine about it. Then let the matter rest lah."
Besides, you have a million reasons to detest me.
Cause i'm such a detestable person.
And you know why too.
Really, you might be prettier, more capable or super popular.
But even though i am less competent than you,
I still have my sense of pride.
And i still need to be treated with that very basic respect.
I was never really bothered by your disturbing behaviour last time.
And trust me, you wouldn't wanna know the defination of disturbing.
I totally accepted you for who you are.
And i totally swear that i've never bad mouthed you behind your back.
I've always treated you as my best friend.
I've never let someone else have a very horrible impression of you.
But i guess you did stuff like that before.
And its so damn disappointing.
I might be a hypocrite.
But definately not as hypocritical as you.
Let me tell you that i still have people who love me.
People who respect me.
People who knows that i am still human.
And i am not gonna fake that smile anymore.
There were some occassions where i really felt like just storming away.
And when that happens again,
I PROMISE,
I am just gonna walk away.
It's time i tried to do something about my life.
About my unhapiness.
Like Miss Kelly Lim said, "If you don't like it, then change!"
And yes, i am so gonna change the colour of my life.
Okay, so i kinda feel better letting all these out. :D
But overall, its a bad day.
A bad week.
And i hope things will take a better turn.
If anyone wants to start hating me, so be it.
I can't be bothered anymore.
You're just hurting another human on earth.
And its your sin, not mine.
Off to speak to my counsellors.
And this time, not let the matter rest. (:
